That is the first sentence in the book Stepping Heavenward. Those words are very appropriate today, because today I am one year older. {Sigh}
Only the main character, Katherine, wrote those words in her journal when she was turning just sixteen. {Sigh}
I'm so old I can hardly remember sixteen anymore.
Never mind. Bemoaning my old age is not the point of this post.
Last year during ladies' Bible study at my church, the book we were reading referenced Elizabeth Prentiss, author of Stepping Heavenward. The faces of the other women in the group all lit up as they said practically in unison, "I love that book." I had heard the title before, but knew nothing about the book. So I made a mental note to put it on my long to-read list, and I finally got around to reading it early this summer.
I love this book.
It has earned a "forever" place next to my bed, because I love to just open it up and reread short portions. My girls will each get a copy for their sixteenth birthday.
The story, first published in 1869, is the fictional journal of Katherine and documents her spiritual journey as she changes from an emotional teenager to a seasoned mother. So often her words described my own thoughts in a way I could never convey to paper.
It is a marvel to me why God allows characters like mine to defile His Church. I can only account for it with the thought that if I ever am perfected, I shall be a great honor to His name, for surely worse material for building up a temple of the Holy Ghost was never gathered together before. The time may come when those who know me now, crude, childish, incomplete, will look upon me with amazement, saying, "What hath God wrought! If I knew such a time would never come, I should want to flee into the holes and caves of the earth." (p. 208)
To me, Stepping Heavenward is the perfect example of a living book. I could have read self-help books on marriage, more books on parenting, and a whole shelf of books on Christian living, yet still not have received as much guidance as this one small book gave me.
My darling, precious children! For their sakes I am continually constrained to seek after an amended, a sanctified life; what I want them to become I must become myself. (p.209)
Through this book I became much more aware of God's sanctifying grace in my life and how I should respond to this gift.
For me to live to Christ seems natural enough, for I have been driven to Him not only by sorrow but by sin. Every outbreak of my hasty temper sends me weeping and penitent to the foot of the cross, and I love much because I have been forgiven much. (p. 216)
But it's not a book of lessons; it is a beautiful story, which is what makes it so much more appealing than a shelf full of self-help books.
Some of my favorite quotes come from the end of the book, but I don't want to spoil the treasure of reading the words yourself.
Because you are going to read this book.
I insist.
In fact, in honor of how dreadfully old I am getting, I am giving away three copies of Stepping Heavenward for three readers to win. I chose the number three in honor of my last year as a 30-something. {Sigh}
Plus, I'm throwing in a journal with each of the three books for you to document your own spiritual journey or to use as you wish. If you've already read the book, enter anyway and give the book to a friend.
Enter by leaving an encouraging comment about how I do not look a day over 29 -- Oh, I forgot my profile picture has been missing since I changed my Google account this summer. I think I need to schedule another photo shoot in the closet! Any comments that make me feel my age (or even older) will disqualify you from winning. : )
You can enter a second time by telling your friends about the give-away (just leave a second comment telling me you spread the word). Comments must be received by midnight (CST) Sunday, September 19. I'll announce the winners Monday morning. Sorry, only people in the continental U.S. are eligible.
Just a warning: Elizabeth Prentiss also the wrote the hymn, "More Love to Thee, O Christ." Never again will you be able to sing it without crying. Trust me; that's a good thing.